Today is one of those days. Two days ago it was 60 degrees- I was not ready to break out the shorts, but I definitely had a t-shirt on with no sweatshirt to wear over it. Today we have 12 of the 18 inches that we are due, and the world is silent except for the ssshhh of an occasional car, the flutter of wings as the birds circle the feeders like planes over Logan Airport. Occassionally, we hear the growl of the snow plow who comes to clear off the end of our road with extra care because it is well known that the curve and the angle of the roadway, makes it extremely easy to flip a car over if one is not careful. The Smiths have gone out there with jackets and raincoats, sneaker and boots, most often manning flashlights to figure out 1) where the wreck is, down the embankment, in our neighbors yard, and 2) whether or not the passengers have survived a brush with death. Cars do not look good when they have flipped over 2 or 10 times. Anyway Spring is supposed to make her appearance on Sunday again, in time for the solar eclipse. The line of totality is not far from our home, I want to adventure a little further north but my spouse thinks Maine will have one of its few traffic jams on the 8th. Did I tell you he hates traffic jams? In truth we can see it from home, the totality figure will be about 98% or so, but there is a place called Quills’ Hill up near Rangeley that is absolutely in the middle of nowhere. I think Dave is afraid it will be jammed packed with people and it will ruin it’s magic for us.
Like the snow that falls in Spring, I am late writing about our handsome grandson Ethan. For most of his life Ethan has lived around the corner from us. He stayed with us on occasion. got off the bus every day at our driveway while he Mom worked, and we were the emergency contact, something we were happy to do. We had our first introduction to IEP’s an education plan designed to help the student grow and become a happy, productive, gangly kid. I cried the first time the teacher wanted him to be referred to the Emotional Support classes. She took my hand and showed me an art project Ethan had did that was so advanced that they had never seen anything like it. He did an entry for a local car dealership and the judges were sure he had adult help doing his project. We were so happy when Covid came to call that Ethan was now mainstreamed into school and needed next to no assistance with classes or conflicts.
He moved to Arizona when he was in the middle of his junior year, a Covid year at that. Essentially, he lived in AZ nearly 10 months before he could go to school and meet classmates., not helpful to a kid like Ethan. Remote learning was not this boy’s friend, it was not that the learning was hard, it was hard to maintain and attitude toward excelling, and it meant that he, just like thousands of other kids, missed out on school activities, which build social development. The traditional hall marks and rights-of-passage for the Class of ’23 were lost, never to be retrieved. The day after graduation Ethan boarded a plane with his grandparents to return to Maine, where he attempted to renew friendships, just at a time when kids were leaving to break out on their own. We offered Ethan a chance to live with us and figure out adulting rules. It was not easy at first: we had some house rules he did not like (if you are going to be out really late or all night, send Grammy a text or a phone message) and please pick up your stuff so the room does not smell like a gym locker.
We moved on to more difficult challenges: community college, training programs or full-time work. Instead he worked part-time jobs, just enough to pay his car insurance and to buy old beaters which he enjoyed messing with. After 15 months we were still struggling with the idea of full-time work, keeping a room free of pizza boxes and remembering to bring home a gallon of milk once and a while. On the other hand he did bring some exotic food from the store- and while I did not eat any, he would look up recipes to try. He also learned sushi left for three or four days in the fridge will end up in the trash.
He told us all along he was interested in going into the service. He gathered important papers and told us he was visiting the local Navy recruiter. I think he had talked to an Army and AirForce recruiter as well, but Ethan has unbelievably flat feet. The Navy, sent him to an orthopedist and was not dismayed at the information. One day in October he walked through the house and said, “see you in 15 weeks, I have a ride to the recruiting office”. He had just gotten a loan to buy a used car and had a cat he adopted and we had no idea if he made arrangements for either one while he was gone. I did make him stop and wait while I collected a hug. I just could not let him go without that hug. For the next few weeks, we held our breath to see how he was adjusting. We got one letter with about 8 sentences: standard fare for someone in basic training. This was not my first rodeo. We tried to make peace with his cat something Moby would not consider until Ethan was clearly gone.
We heard little at first, but then the call came: Ethan was in the VA hospital in Chicago in intensive care. He had thrown himself into the physical fitness program for recruits and then on the third day he could not get up. His arm and back muscles, hurt and he could not even pick up a shoe. He went to sick bay, then urgent care where they do blood tests and such. When he first went in, he felt like the Corpsman did not believe him, instead thinking perhaps he was dogging it. They asked for a urine sample and took blood samples. His urine sample was close to black, and the blood showed he had an exceedingly high amount of protein in his blood-thousands higher (42K) than was required for admission (5K). The Corpsman returned and told Ethan to sit in a chair, and not to move, they were waiting for an ambulance. His body, having no carbs, sugars or fat to call upon began to eat up his muscles. I had never heard of rhabdomyolysis, but I quickly became informed about it and followed his treatment at the VA. Constant IVs would flush out his system and restore electrolytes and stop dehydration. They did an electrocardiogram to make sure the heart muscles were ok, given the history of HCM in our family. The constant IVs cleaned out his kidneys which improved greatly with good food, and he began to produce normal colored urine again. Turned out he was at the greatest risk of ruining his kidneys. A master chief came to visit him and asked him not once, but twice, if he wanted to stay in the Navy. He answered he intended to get better and return to be with other recruits and mastering basic training skills. By the fourth or fifth day he said he looked like the Michelin man, and they backed down on the IVs a bit and was sent back to light duty for a few days and then he rotated into a new “ship” and continued his basic training. Another episode of rhabdo and he would be sent home with a medical discharge.
We kept track from a distance and through his mom we learned he was progressing and now had a tentative date for graduation: January 3rd. We began to get little notes, he said he was surprised by how much he missed us (LOL) but his throat would thicken when he asked about Moby. We had a great celebration when we found he passed his last test and traded in his recruit hat for a handsome Navy ball cap. He was now a sailor! We prepared to travel to the Great Lakes New Years Day to see him graduate. He had received his blue uniform with the white dixie cup hat.
On graduation day his mother, step-father, grandmother and grandfather watch as he marched into a big hanger type building with ten or twelve other classes or “ships”. We were so proud of him and there was not a dry eye in the place. It was a stellar moment when we first laid our eyes on this tall, handsome, skinny sailor! At that moment we were just taking it all in and wondering how this tall handsome young man was once a sturdy little bulldozer of a toddler. I thought of all the IEP meetings we sat through, the social and emotional challenges that seem to be so hard on him in his elementary years, his stubborn willfulness, and yet here he is, a sailor, making his way through a challenging world, ready to take on learning a new trade, and traveling to new places half a world away on behalf of his country.
The only sad moment was much later when he was on liberty. He asked us about Moby and we told him that just before we left, Moby was suddenly very ill, I took him to a cat hospital where he went through a number of tests, and they sent me home with a guarded prognosis and medication. 32 hours later it was clear Moby wanted to go outside so he could die as cats often do. I took him back to the ER again, where it was determined that his body was shutting down and he needed to be euthanized to end his suffering. It was hard on Ethan, but I brought him an ink copy of his little paw, and a nice note from the ER staff expressing their condolences.
Ethan is currently still in Great Lakes, attending his A school where he will be taught how to be a gas turbine engine mechanic. He expects to be shipped out someplace overseas., most likely across the Pacific. He is planning on spending a little time with his Mom in AZ and with us and his sister in Maine, taking care of a little business before he gets shipped out. I hope he will go with me to church one Sunday in his uniform, as well as to his uncle Allan’s in Union ME. Allan, now 80, was in the Navy till mid-60’s when he was retired due to a catastrophic head wound.
Our family has long been a military minded group. Ethan’s two great grandfathers served in the Army and Navy in WW2, his grandfather and two great uncles served in the Army and the Coast Guard in either Vietnam or Vietnam era and his mother, father and uncle served in the Army, and his other uncle served in the Air Force during desert storm era. I most look forward to the after dinner talk when they get telling stories about boot camp. It never fails to get them laughing to the point of tears, and now Ethan will be able to join in with stories of his own.
As for me, I am still wondering how that little bulldozer of a toddler grew up to be such a chick magnet! I will do my best to send him off to the Pacific with no tears.
weftalone 